So...your thinking...mashed potatoes...ugh they take sooo long to cook! Maybe I should just try instant?? Well, I put this question to the test...in a not-on-purpose kind of way. Get ready for a great story! My family will be telling this one to my grandkids.
Reese has this event at her school called "Turkey Lunch". They have it every year, where the entire school gathers in the gym and enjoys a nice hot turkey lunch. All the kids wear green and red for the season, sing carols and just have a ball with all their friends and teachers.
When they asked for volunteers I was up for the challenge. I wanted to take part in something at her school and thought this was a great idea. They needed helpers for set-up, the day of help, cooking mashed potatoes, and clean-up afterwards. I signed up for the whole canoodle! The more helpers, the quicker it goes right?
Well, last week was crazy! I mean holy shit balls crazy. I had Reese's birthday party on Saturday morning, a family Christmas dinner Saturday night, and Disney Princess's on Ice on Sunday. Plus I had volunteered to help out on Wednesday and Thursday for this turkey lunch.
Wednesday set-up was great! Went quick and effortless and I was on my marry way. Thursday was another story. Do you ever have those days when you are running around like your a crack whore running from your pimp, that you feel like you are going to throw up? That was Thursday. I had to be at the school for 11am for the lunch to start at 11:30. Before this time I still had to wake my ass up, cook the potatoes, go to the market to pick up meat for Saturday's birthday party, pick up wood for the fence cuz my loving husband thought that one more thing on my list was not a problem, and get back home to drop Miss Marli off to be watched by my fairy god friend...Ashley:)
I woke up at 7am and cooked the potatoes but did not have time to mash them as Reese had to be at school for 9am. No problem, I will mash that shit when I get back home after my running around. Riiiiight! I zoom home, pull in the driveway...time 10:45am...rush into the house and start to mash the potatoes. They are wallpaper glue...straight up wallpaper glue!!! WTH!!!! I think to myself, "Holy shit! I will be that mother at the Turkey Lunch with mashed potatoes in my hair, not wearing green and red, and no mashed potatoes!". Cue the instant mashed potatoes! Book it over to the corner store...clear out their supply of instant mashed potatoes...12 boxes, (that is going to be a bitch on Christmas, they might want to put another order in pronto!) get home to cook the fastest mashed potatoes man has ever seen!
Ashley and I should have a reality show contract signed, sealed, and delivered to viewers all over the world. You want suspense, comedy and fear?? It was all here on December 17, 11:10am. We cooked that mess up and it was alright. The taste is a bit cardbordy...but you know what! it will have to do when your in a bind or stuck...like glue...literally. I got to the school just in time as food was being served and no one even knew the difference. Well except that all the other mothers nicely smoothed out their potatoes and mine looked like squirrels had gone on a acorn hunt!...dah well!
Lesson here my friends! Never cook potatoes, drain the water, let them cool and then decide to mash them up. Martha would not be impressed...not at all.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I Swear when I have children....
I was watching Julie/Julia the movie and there was a part where her mother was questioning why she was doing this blog thing...I thought to myself, "Why are mothers always on their daughters ass?" They are a woman...we are women...WTF!
I have a great mom...worked her ass off for her children as a single mom and I think we all turned out pretty darn well. But that doesn't mean that there are times when my mother is on my ass! Questioning my every moment...what I did during the day...why I decided to have my kids on a schedule or even breastfeed. Shit...when I told my mom I was using a midwife she nearly hit the floor. I always have to explain myself to my mother, why I feel passionate about something or that I know I am doing a good job whether she thinks so or not.
Why do mothers do this to their children? Do they not remember what is felt like to have your own mother hound on you every second of the day? I like support, but what I don't like is the questioning. I am 30....30!...I think I am doing well for myself and I am pretty damn smart. I mean she was the one who instilled these qualities in me. Should she not be standing up on the mountains and shouting, "I did that!!!". What an accomplishment for her. But no..mothers like mine always have to question your every move.
I really do wish that when my girls are older that I am on their side. No matter how crazy their ideas are, that I am really with them. Ideas are just ideas. You have this life to try all the ideas you want. We are given this gift of life, why waste it just one one idea? If one fails, move on to the next. My husband is the best person to know about these ideas. I always have a new one, wanting to try this or that. He always stands by me, no matter how crazy they are. If I fail..oh well, on to the next! I want to be this supportive mother for my daughters.
My mother really means well. I guess as a mother you don't want your child to fail. You have lived your own life and know what mistakes you have made or mistakes that others have made and I guess you want to derail your child from these heartbreaks. I don't think of it as heartbreaks, I think of it as lessons. Please if you know me when my children are teenagers and I want to break their necks, that you tell me to remember these lessons. I wish for my girls to want to try everything...dig in deep with their heels...and not worry if they fail. What better than to be at the end of your life and know you tried everything and failed than to never had tried anything and be bored.
I have a great mom...worked her ass off for her children as a single mom and I think we all turned out pretty darn well. But that doesn't mean that there are times when my mother is on my ass! Questioning my every moment...what I did during the day...why I decided to have my kids on a schedule or even breastfeed. Shit...when I told my mom I was using a midwife she nearly hit the floor. I always have to explain myself to my mother, why I feel passionate about something or that I know I am doing a good job whether she thinks so or not.
Why do mothers do this to their children? Do they not remember what is felt like to have your own mother hound on you every second of the day? I like support, but what I don't like is the questioning. I am 30....30!...I think I am doing well for myself and I am pretty damn smart. I mean she was the one who instilled these qualities in me. Should she not be standing up on the mountains and shouting, "I did that!!!". What an accomplishment for her. But no..mothers like mine always have to question your every move.
I really do wish that when my girls are older that I am on their side. No matter how crazy their ideas are, that I am really with them. Ideas are just ideas. You have this life to try all the ideas you want. We are given this gift of life, why waste it just one one idea? If one fails, move on to the next. My husband is the best person to know about these ideas. I always have a new one, wanting to try this or that. He always stands by me, no matter how crazy they are. If I fail..oh well, on to the next! I want to be this supportive mother for my daughters.
My mother really means well. I guess as a mother you don't want your child to fail. You have lived your own life and know what mistakes you have made or mistakes that others have made and I guess you want to derail your child from these heartbreaks. I don't think of it as heartbreaks, I think of it as lessons. Please if you know me when my children are teenagers and I want to break their necks, that you tell me to remember these lessons. I wish for my girls to want to try everything...dig in deep with their heels...and not worry if they fail. What better than to be at the end of your life and know you tried everything and failed than to never had tried anything and be bored.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Shop till you.....
Drop right??
False. Why is it whenever you have the chance to go shopping solo, it always turns into this rush/panic as to what is going on at home?
I take my girls anywhere. Really, I am not afraid of slugging it out with the rest of the stroller crazy moms at the mall or hittin the local festival sans a husband with two crazy kids. I will do it. Groceries every week, the market on Thursday's, some crazy ass kids club..like I mentioned, I do it. But I do enjoy the time on a Saturday when I can bust out of the house early in the morning to get some shit done.
I enjoy getting dolled up, which mean actually showering and doing my makeup. I get dressed up, again which means not wearing jogging pants and a tank top...braless. So yes, jeans and a nice shirt without any stains...hopefully. I like to get a Starbucks and hit the stores that I really would rather do alone. I am all good to go and ready to pull a Q-B sneak on the hubby just to see that face, "When are you going to be back...and are you really going to leave me with these kids...I really have work to do" look. WTF!!!
Then I get out of the house only to be gone about an hour to get a phone call as to when I will return and "save the day!". Really? Is this rrreally happening?? I would love to have a couple of hours where I can get my shit done without feeling rushed and have to get back home because the house is burning and I am the only one that can fix it!
I went out this weekend to get some Christmas shopping done just to get that type of phone call. Now my husband is very capable of changing a diaper, feeding the children (fish crackers and pickles of course), and making sure the kids are doing something productive (taking all the wipes out of the package and throwing them everywhere in an art like fashion). He is a great father, helps me out more than most men. But I get a phone call in the middle of doing stuff just to hear Reese screaming and Dave not understanding what is going on and how to fix it and asking when I will be home. I don't need to hear this!!! I don't care if I told you I would be home at 1pm and its now 2pm and I am still not home. Just deal with it!!
Mayyyyybe if he would stop trying to be a 4 year old's best friend....he would gain some respect?? Mayyybe???
False. Why is it whenever you have the chance to go shopping solo, it always turns into this rush/panic as to what is going on at home?
I take my girls anywhere. Really, I am not afraid of slugging it out with the rest of the stroller crazy moms at the mall or hittin the local festival sans a husband with two crazy kids. I will do it. Groceries every week, the market on Thursday's, some crazy ass kids club..like I mentioned, I do it. But I do enjoy the time on a Saturday when I can bust out of the house early in the morning to get some shit done.
I enjoy getting dolled up, which mean actually showering and doing my makeup. I get dressed up, again which means not wearing jogging pants and a tank top...braless. So yes, jeans and a nice shirt without any stains...hopefully. I like to get a Starbucks and hit the stores that I really would rather do alone. I am all good to go and ready to pull a Q-B sneak on the hubby just to see that face, "When are you going to be back...and are you really going to leave me with these kids...I really have work to do" look. WTF!!!
Then I get out of the house only to be gone about an hour to get a phone call as to when I will return and "save the day!". Really? Is this rrreally happening?? I would love to have a couple of hours where I can get my shit done without feeling rushed and have to get back home because the house is burning and I am the only one that can fix it!
I went out this weekend to get some Christmas shopping done just to get that type of phone call. Now my husband is very capable of changing a diaper, feeding the children (fish crackers and pickles of course), and making sure the kids are doing something productive (taking all the wipes out of the package and throwing them everywhere in an art like fashion). He is a great father, helps me out more than most men. But I get a phone call in the middle of doing stuff just to hear Reese screaming and Dave not understanding what is going on and how to fix it and asking when I will be home. I don't need to hear this!!! I don't care if I told you I would be home at 1pm and its now 2pm and I am still not home. Just deal with it!!
Mayyyyybe if he would stop trying to be a 4 year old's best friend....he would gain some respect?? Mayyybe???
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