I am having some back and forth feeling about turning 30 this year. I mean once your 30...there is no room for stupid little mistakes, be more mature...you know all that jazz. There is a lot you can get away with in your 20's...you decide on getting a new tattoo or decide to buy that fast sports car..you can get away with that cuz your in your 20's and your trying out all sorts of things to see what works. Well in your 30's...you better have your shit together! No more excuses. You try getting your hair permed in your 30's just to see what it would look like...and see how many people will question your sanity.
There is also the question as to..."What will I wear in my 30's?". No more showing your midriff (like I showed it anyways in the past 8 years...no one needs to see the road map on my war torn body)...no more shopping in stores like Stitches or Garage...you shop there and BAM! your a cougar! I gotta find a balance...this will be tough. I don't want to look like a kid again...but I also don't want to look like a ol'housewife either.
I know one thing for sure...even thoough this adjustment is going to take some time getting used to, I'd much rather turn 30..then have to be 13 again. I had a great childhood...wasn't made fun of too much, but it was always awkward. Guys never liked me growing up. I mean I know I didn't have much to offer than the occasional headband in my dry unruly fro. Or the biggest chunkiest glasses known to man...but I was funny and cute...guess it didn't matter. I was always the 3rd wheel...crushing on guys that just talked to me to get to my friend. That's some awkward shit! I won't miss wishing someone would want to be my boyfriend or wondering what the girls thought of my new hairstyle (which when I rocked the braids with the beads....everyone wished they had my hair!!!). Being a teenager is tough! I witnessed this the other day when the Hubby and I went to the moovies. We watched as all these teenyboppers grouped together...at least one of them you could see was uncomfortable as the others tried to push a crush on them. Who are they going to sit beside and who they needed to impress. It was exhausting watching them! I defiantly won't miss those days.
As I approach my 30's I feel soo much more comfortable in my own skin. I have a husband that doesn't mind my dry unruly fro in the morning...or my chunky geeky glasses. All my stretch marks and all the gigglies..I'm okay with them...I really am. And I can get away with all these things...cuz I am 30...no need to impress my friends or boys. I can just be me and people will love me or hate me and I know my life won't be over in doing so.
So to my year of turning 30...I raise a non-alcoholic (BOO!) glass of champagne to you.....Very excited and ready to face what ever you have next for me....
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Space Cadet
Attention passengers...we are making our decent to our final destination...Earth. Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. It may be a bumpy ride. Current temperature is iffy, if this is your dwelling, than welcome home, if not have a great time visiting. Thank you for riding Crazy Whoremone Airlines...we hope you choose us again in the future when you want to go somewhere crazy!
(W)Hormone: Dictionary Definition-
1.Biochemistry. any of various internally secreted compounds, as insulin or thyroxine, formed in endocrine glands, that affect the functions of specifically receptive organs or tissues when transported to them by the body fluids.
2.Pharmacology. a synthetic substance used in medicine to act like such a compound when introduced into the body.
3.Botany. Also called phytohormone. any of various plant compounds, as auxin or gibberellin, that control growth and differentiation of plant tissue.
(W)Hormone: MushMush Definition-
-to go crazy
-"why is mommy in the corner rocking herself in a fetal position and humming a nursery rhyme to herself?"
-instant rage and at the same time...instant crying
Lately I have been what my husband likes to call me...A Space Cadet! I can literally feel that I cannot control my feelings or my body. Its like I am on the outside watching someone move my body around and function in a very un-ordinary way. My whoremones are on full time and I feel sorry for the outsiders that have to witness this.
On Saturday I spent my whole morning walking around like a zombie. I told the husband that I was going to lock myself in my room and stare at the ceiling, so no one was to bother me. After I did that I sat...yes sat in the shower for about 45 min with the shower on and stared at the window glass doors. Now that shit calls for some serious therapy!!! That is some messed up stuff! Wait it gets better!!! Then I had to get ready for a bridal shower that was about 40 minutes away from where I live. I got dressed, which took sometime to figure out what I should wear...settled on a very nice green dress, some strappy sandals and pulled back my hair. Got my daughter dressed as she was coming with me, in a cute pink dress and white sandals. Things were looking up! The weather was nice out and I really should not waste my day wallowing in what I think is sorrow.
We get in the car and start out on our journey. The little muffin falls asleep 5 minutes into the drive which is perfect! Peace and quiet. We get to our destination all the way out in the boonies and there is barely any cars there. I am 30 minutes late and wonder if I am in the wrong spot. I leave muffin in the car and go to the front door. A man appeared and looked at me strangely...yes I know its weird to see a coloured person wayyyy out here in the good ol town of Waterdown, but really. Apparently the shower is NEXT Saturday!!!! He must have thought, "Black people aren't late, what are people talking about...Caribbean Time..huh...they are actually really early!!!".
How could I have screwed this up??? What is wrong with my brain!!! Why can I not control this??? So back in the car and back home. All dressed up and nowhere to go! Muffin slept the whole way there and the whole way home. We got back home and she woke up to see the gift still in the front seat. Then I had to manage a mini-meltdown as she was ready to party and didn't understand that her mother is a dolt and mixed up the dates.
I hope this doesn't last my whole pregnancy...really I don't think I could handle it. Pray for me...well maybe you should pray for my sidekicks....they are really the ones who are going to suffer...
(W)Hormone: Dictionary Definition-
1.Biochemistry. any of various internally secreted compounds, as insulin or thyroxine, formed in endocrine glands, that affect the functions of specifically receptive organs or tissues when transported to them by the body fluids.
2.Pharmacology. a synthetic substance used in medicine to act like such a compound when introduced into the body.
3.Botany. Also called phytohormone. any of various plant compounds, as auxin or gibberellin, that control growth and differentiation of plant tissue.
(W)Hormone: MushMush Definition-
-to go crazy
-"why is mommy in the corner rocking herself in a fetal position and humming a nursery rhyme to herself?"
-instant rage and at the same time...instant crying
Lately I have been what my husband likes to call me...A Space Cadet! I can literally feel that I cannot control my feelings or my body. Its like I am on the outside watching someone move my body around and function in a very un-ordinary way. My whoremones are on full time and I feel sorry for the outsiders that have to witness this.
On Saturday I spent my whole morning walking around like a zombie. I told the husband that I was going to lock myself in my room and stare at the ceiling, so no one was to bother me. After I did that I sat...yes sat in the shower for about 45 min with the shower on and stared at the window glass doors. Now that shit calls for some serious therapy!!! That is some messed up stuff! Wait it gets better!!! Then I had to get ready for a bridal shower that was about 40 minutes away from where I live. I got dressed, which took sometime to figure out what I should wear...settled on a very nice green dress, some strappy sandals and pulled back my hair. Got my daughter dressed as she was coming with me, in a cute pink dress and white sandals. Things were looking up! The weather was nice out and I really should not waste my day wallowing in what I think is sorrow.
We get in the car and start out on our journey. The little muffin falls asleep 5 minutes into the drive which is perfect! Peace and quiet. We get to our destination all the way out in the boonies and there is barely any cars there. I am 30 minutes late and wonder if I am in the wrong spot. I leave muffin in the car and go to the front door. A man appeared and looked at me strangely...yes I know its weird to see a coloured person wayyyy out here in the good ol town of Waterdown, but really. Apparently the shower is NEXT Saturday!!!! He must have thought, "Black people aren't late, what are people talking about...Caribbean Time..huh...they are actually really early!!!".
How could I have screwed this up??? What is wrong with my brain!!! Why can I not control this??? So back in the car and back home. All dressed up and nowhere to go! Muffin slept the whole way there and the whole way home. We got back home and she woke up to see the gift still in the front seat. Then I had to manage a mini-meltdown as she was ready to party and didn't understand that her mother is a dolt and mixed up the dates.
I hope this doesn't last my whole pregnancy...really I don't think I could handle it. Pray for me...well maybe you should pray for my sidekicks....they are really the ones who are going to suffer...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Spring Chicken?
Just recently I bumped into a guy that looked familiar to me at the gym.
Him: "You look really familiar...Where do I know you from?
Me: "I think we went to College together...yaya that's right we were in 'Dealing with Difficult People' "
Him: "Ahh Yes! That's right...that was a while ago eh?
Me: "Well over 10 years I guess...but who's counting?"
DumbAss: "Ya you do look more mature in your face" (Let me mention he was totally serious....no jokes...no pause and then laugh. Straight up serious!)
STOP......HOL UP!!!!! "MATURE IN YOUR FACE" ???????? W.T.F !!!!!
It was like I was hit in the stomach! I could not believe this jack ass actually said that. Are guys not taught from a young age to never discuss the following with women: age and weight?? Helllooo, who says shit like that?
I held my breath and continued on my marry way and finished my workout. I had to get some ego boosting from my fellow workout buddies that I occasionally workout with to make sure I still look good. The very smart buddies agreed and I let it go.
Until last night. Here is the following conversation I had with my husband....
Me: "Oh NO!" as I looked in the bathroom mirror
Hubby: "What's wrong?"
Me: "I have a WRINKLE! I have a a a laugh line!!!!"
Hubby: "No.....let me see" as he joined me in the bathroom so I could show him.
Me: "Look! Right there! Do you see that line by my lips???? Look!"
Hubby: "That's not a wrinkle" he says brushing me off.
Me: "Yaya its is! LOOOK!"
DumbAss: "If that is a wrinkle then look you have another on on your forehead....look right there" he said as he pointed out yet another wrinkle.
Again...hellooo has someone not taught him this cardinal rule either??? I was fired up. Not only had I discovered I had a laugh line..my husband so nicely pointed out I have another one on my forehead.
Crap Crap Crap.....I thought I would be okay with this whole aging thing and becoming 30...but I am not so sure. What's next? Grey hair? My kids growing up so quickly to tell me that I am no longer cool when I say..."W.T.F".
Who else is going through this as well? I am beginning to feel as my youth is being sucked out of me quickly! Need to slow it down somehow without the help of surgical methods. Any tips? What are your stay young methods?
Him: "You look really familiar...Where do I know you from?
Me: "I think we went to College together...yaya that's right we were in 'Dealing with Difficult People' "
Him: "Ahh Yes! That's right...that was a while ago eh?
Me: "Well over 10 years I guess...but who's counting?"
DumbAss: "Ya you do look more mature in your face" (Let me mention he was totally serious....no jokes...no pause and then laugh. Straight up serious!)
STOP......HOL UP!!!!! "MATURE IN YOUR FACE" ???????? W.T.F !!!!!
It was like I was hit in the stomach! I could not believe this jack ass actually said that. Are guys not taught from a young age to never discuss the following with women: age and weight?? Helllooo, who says shit like that?
I held my breath and continued on my marry way and finished my workout. I had to get some ego boosting from my fellow workout buddies that I occasionally workout with to make sure I still look good. The very smart buddies agreed and I let it go.
Until last night. Here is the following conversation I had with my husband....
Me: "Oh NO!" as I looked in the bathroom mirror
Hubby: "What's wrong?"
Me: "I have a WRINKLE! I have a a a laugh line!!!!"
Hubby: "No.....let me see" as he joined me in the bathroom so I could show him.
Me: "Look! Right there! Do you see that line by my lips???? Look!"
Hubby: "That's not a wrinkle" he says brushing me off.
Me: "Yaya its is! LOOOK!"
DumbAss: "If that is a wrinkle then look you have another on on your forehead....look right there" he said as he pointed out yet another wrinkle.
Again...hellooo has someone not taught him this cardinal rule either??? I was fired up. Not only had I discovered I had a laugh line..my husband so nicely pointed out I have another one on my forehead.
Crap Crap Crap.....I thought I would be okay with this whole aging thing and becoming 30...but I am not so sure. What's next? Grey hair? My kids growing up so quickly to tell me that I am no longer cool when I say..."W.T.F".
Who else is going through this as well? I am beginning to feel as my youth is being sucked out of me quickly! Need to slow it down somehow without the help of surgical methods. Any tips? What are your stay young methods?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Olivieri
Setting The Mood:
On a television spot two people are sitting down to enjoy a dinner of fresh Olivieri pasta together. The sexual tension is obvious with the buffalo eyes this man and woman are giving each other. The woman leans in to feed her lover some delicious pasta but drops it on his shirt. He now feels he should take off his shirt and throw it in the wash. He returns to feed his lover a fork full, but also drops it on her shirt. Again she starts to undress. The whole commercial this happens until the woman is down to an undershirt and her underwear and he is shirtless just waiting what is next....and the woman drops the entire bowl of pasta onto his pants...hence the pants now will have to come off.
Enter my very smart and funny daughter Reese:
"Look Mom!! Look! They are getting naked!" she says with a dirty laugh, then with a confused look, "Why are they getting naked?"
Reese, you make me laugh each and everyday. You are full of energy and are non-stop. Yes you exhaust me, and the fact that I answer everyone of your "whys" is beyond the patience I thought I had. You really help me get through my day. Tho Marli is teething right now and is not the best person you want to hang out with, when I look at you and hear your insights for the day...I know I will make it through till the next. You are now 3 1/2, but your wit and your thoughts are so grown up. I feel like you are one of my girlfriends and I could talk to you all day long.
We were watching a show about people giving birth. You watched intently as this woman was screaming in pain and actually pushed her baby out. You said to me, "Why is there blood? Why is the baby crying? The baby looks like Marli doesn't she?". I hope that I live to the day when you give birth to your own child, I will sit with you and support you and tell you all about the funny things you have said to me to help you get through your pain. Like when I was breastfeeding Marli when she was born, you told me,"Mom, you have BIG nipples! I love your big NIPPLES!". Then you proceeded the bash them about like they were basketballs and you were trying out for the NBA Allstars game...thanks for that by the way.
You make me so proud to be your mommy. I sat and watched you organize all your crayons this afternoon in colour coded lines. You sang The Itsy Bitsy Spider while you were doing it, and you reminded me of what its like to be a child. I remember myself playing with my toys and not having a care in the world and singing my heart out to some rhyme or another. Never lose yourself, you have been the same person since I gave birth to you. You always take your time with things so that they are done to your standards. Never let anyone rush you (including your Father...give him sometime on that...he will learn one day to really listen to you, he does try but he's a man). You are funny and you are compassionate and you always look our for your family.
Thank you for being you and thank you for saving me on days when I think I am going to lose it!
Love Mommy
On a television spot two people are sitting down to enjoy a dinner of fresh Olivieri pasta together. The sexual tension is obvious with the buffalo eyes this man and woman are giving each other. The woman leans in to feed her lover some delicious pasta but drops it on his shirt. He now feels he should take off his shirt and throw it in the wash. He returns to feed his lover a fork full, but also drops it on her shirt. Again she starts to undress. The whole commercial this happens until the woman is down to an undershirt and her underwear and he is shirtless just waiting what is next....and the woman drops the entire bowl of pasta onto his pants...hence the pants now will have to come off.
Enter my very smart and funny daughter Reese:
"Look Mom!! Look! They are getting naked!" she says with a dirty laugh, then with a confused look, "Why are they getting naked?"
Reese, you make me laugh each and everyday. You are full of energy and are non-stop. Yes you exhaust me, and the fact that I answer everyone of your "whys" is beyond the patience I thought I had. You really help me get through my day. Tho Marli is teething right now and is not the best person you want to hang out with, when I look at you and hear your insights for the day...I know I will make it through till the next. You are now 3 1/2, but your wit and your thoughts are so grown up. I feel like you are one of my girlfriends and I could talk to you all day long.
We were watching a show about people giving birth. You watched intently as this woman was screaming in pain and actually pushed her baby out. You said to me, "Why is there blood? Why is the baby crying? The baby looks like Marli doesn't she?". I hope that I live to the day when you give birth to your own child, I will sit with you and support you and tell you all about the funny things you have said to me to help you get through your pain. Like when I was breastfeeding Marli when she was born, you told me,"Mom, you have BIG nipples! I love your big NIPPLES!". Then you proceeded the bash them about like they were basketballs and you were trying out for the NBA Allstars game...thanks for that by the way.
You make me so proud to be your mommy. I sat and watched you organize all your crayons this afternoon in colour coded lines. You sang The Itsy Bitsy Spider while you were doing it, and you reminded me of what its like to be a child. I remember myself playing with my toys and not having a care in the world and singing my heart out to some rhyme or another. Never lose yourself, you have been the same person since I gave birth to you. You always take your time with things so that they are done to your standards. Never let anyone rush you (including your Father...give him sometime on that...he will learn one day to really listen to you, he does try but he's a man). You are funny and you are compassionate and you always look our for your family.
Thank you for being you and thank you for saving me on days when I think I am going to lose it!
Love Mommy
Saturday, April 11, 2009
5 Weeks!
Let the frequent bathroom breaks, insomnia, embarrassing uncontrollable flatulence, screaming whoremones, falling asleep while eating....BEGIN! Yes kids....I am expecting my third child. Holy Shit Balls!!!!
I have to mention the fact that this is a very shocking surprise....I would suggest to anyone not wanting to be in my situation right now, to never buy Trojan "Thin" Condoms...but the thickest kind you can find. Like steal thick! Heck just don't have sex...or you will get what I am having right now. Anxiety, cold sweats, panicking. Holy Shit Balls! I will have a soon 4 year old, an 18 month old and a brand new baby come Christmas 2009. WOW!
Yes this is a surprise, but I have had some time for this all to sink in, and I think all will be okay. I mean we make some cute kids right? I have had 2 miscarriages in my time, and I understand that these things just have a way of happening when they are suppose to and I will embrace the challenge set forth for me. But I am still freaking out inside...I fear I will be stuck in the house all winter alone and climbing up the walls trying to hide from my crazy children. Please come and knock on my door if you haven't heard from me in like a day...Okay?
But in all honestly...I need you all to pray for me, the next 8 weeks are going to be dicey. Fingers crossed....Holy Shit Balls!
I have to mention the fact that this is a very shocking surprise....I would suggest to anyone not wanting to be in my situation right now, to never buy Trojan "Thin" Condoms...but the thickest kind you can find. Like steal thick! Heck just don't have sex...or you will get what I am having right now. Anxiety, cold sweats, panicking. Holy Shit Balls! I will have a soon 4 year old, an 18 month old and a brand new baby come Christmas 2009. WOW!
Yes this is a surprise, but I have had some time for this all to sink in, and I think all will be okay. I mean we make some cute kids right? I have had 2 miscarriages in my time, and I understand that these things just have a way of happening when they are suppose to and I will embrace the challenge set forth for me. But I am still freaking out inside...I fear I will be stuck in the house all winter alone and climbing up the walls trying to hide from my crazy children. Please come and knock on my door if you haven't heard from me in like a day...Okay?
But in all honestly...I need you all to pray for me, the next 8 weeks are going to be dicey. Fingers crossed....Holy Shit Balls!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Lifting the Wool Out of My Eyes!
Has anyone been reading the new novel by Steve Harvey, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man"? Great book! Very enlightening about the mind of a male. I think the general audience is single ladies (insert Beyonce tune here)....but it does help with attached ladies as well. I am learning so much about the mind of my husband, but if I really think about it, I already knew all this stuff. I just never actually believed it was true. You have to pick it up and read it, it gives you a kind of calm really. Let's you know that you are not totally out of your mind when you ask your husband to pick up some milk on the way home from work, and he shows up with sour cream! Serenity NOW!
But honestly read it to get deep into the mind of the male species...I guarantee you will come out feeling like you have a lot less ulcers.
I also watched Oprah yesterday...damn you Oprah! But I realised more things about myself. I am a bad wife...I am! I will admit it. They were talking about all these marriages that are suffering in this recession and the divorces that are happening as a result of people giving up on their marriages. I don't think I am a very supportive wife, I watched this woman say that she was leaving her husband because he cannot provide for his family. Would I be stronger and be able to hold up my husband if he lost his job tomorrow? I don't know, and for that I am a bad wife. I vow today that I need to stand by my husband no matter how crazy he is or any concoction he has come up with! I love this man and I did marry him, "For Better or Worse!".
I am using the knowledge of the recent book I have been reading and the knowledge that its up to us to set an example for our children and to always be together no matter what. I mean how horrible would that be to lose your job and turn to your wife for support for her to say, "ummm, Peace Out!".
I will be a better wife...I will be a better wife! Someone tell me that when I come home one night after my husband has put the kids to bed and my child is sleeping in the same clothes that she had worn all day. He did offer to put the kids to bed right????
But honestly read it to get deep into the mind of the male species...I guarantee you will come out feeling like you have a lot less ulcers.
I also watched Oprah yesterday...damn you Oprah! But I realised more things about myself. I am a bad wife...I am! I will admit it. They were talking about all these marriages that are suffering in this recession and the divorces that are happening as a result of people giving up on their marriages. I don't think I am a very supportive wife, I watched this woman say that she was leaving her husband because he cannot provide for his family. Would I be stronger and be able to hold up my husband if he lost his job tomorrow? I don't know, and for that I am a bad wife. I vow today that I need to stand by my husband no matter how crazy he is or any concoction he has come up with! I love this man and I did marry him, "For Better or Worse!".
I am using the knowledge of the recent book I have been reading and the knowledge that its up to us to set an example for our children and to always be together no matter what. I mean how horrible would that be to lose your job and turn to your wife for support for her to say, "ummm, Peace Out!".
I will be a better wife...I will be a better wife! Someone tell me that when I come home one night after my husband has put the kids to bed and my child is sleeping in the same clothes that she had worn all day. He did offer to put the kids to bed right????
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Babies R Us
My "sister-in-law" (not married to my brother...but she is my sista!) is expecting in September and she is registering for the first time. Is there anyone out there registering for the first time? Well its a task and a half! Yes you get to shop all you want and never have to stand in line for the cash register...but its a lot of work I tell ya!
What they need to do is have wheelchair for the mother-to-be and let her wheel around that store and click and beep to her hearts content! There is soooo much stuff out there! I have two children...registered for the first but not the second, so its been like 3 years since I have seen some new things for babies.
I am going to pick one new item and "review" it for ya...I'll have to look through her 11 PAGES of registered stuff and pick something that I think is neat. That's lots, but the girl really needs just about everything...but it is a big list...isn't it???
We registered at the one here in Kitchener and the staff was helpful and there was a ton of stuff in the store...good choices. Just make sure you prepare yourself for about an hour or more. Wear comfortable shoes and no jacket, it gets way too hot. You can always go online and do some of the registering then that leaves you with less work to do in the store.
So check back for my first review...its going to be a regular thing on my blog.
What they need to do is have wheelchair for the mother-to-be and let her wheel around that store and click and beep to her hearts content! There is soooo much stuff out there! I have two children...registered for the first but not the second, so its been like 3 years since I have seen some new things for babies.
I am going to pick one new item and "review" it for ya...I'll have to look through her 11 PAGES of registered stuff and pick something that I think is neat. That's lots, but the girl really needs just about everything...but it is a big list...isn't it???
We registered at the one here in Kitchener and the staff was helpful and there was a ton of stuff in the store...good choices. Just make sure you prepare yourself for about an hour or more. Wear comfortable shoes and no jacket, it gets way too hot. You can always go online and do some of the registering then that leaves you with less work to do in the store.
So check back for my first review...its going to be a regular thing on my blog.
Wow Wow Wubbzy!!!
This is my very first post! Now let me tell you...I am not good at spelling...I am not good at writing and speaking English as I should. I am not a professional. But what I am is a girl who is going to give it her best shot! Try something new! Not being afraid! So just be easy on me...okay?
I am a soon to be 30 something living life here in Canada with my two girls ages 3 and 1 with my husband and our crazy miniature wiener dog. We are a crazy family of Meatballs...lumpy, messy, full of flavor, and most importantly...always rolling off the table!
For my blog I want to talk about personal things...you know let it all out there. Try things and let you know how it is...here it from the source. I also want to learn from other people. I am a stay-at-home mom and I feel that it really does take a village to raise kids. I need feedback when I am going through a tough bout of sleep training...or someone to tell me I am normal when I feel my 3 year old is setting me up sometimes. (I swear she should work for the FBI or something...tricky one I tell ya).
So here it goes! The good..the bad...I am ready for it all!!! No fear...No fear..eek!
I am a soon to be 30 something living life here in Canada with my two girls ages 3 and 1 with my husband and our crazy miniature wiener dog. We are a crazy family of Meatballs...lumpy, messy, full of flavor, and most importantly...always rolling off the table!
For my blog I want to talk about personal things...you know let it all out there. Try things and let you know how it is...here it from the source. I also want to learn from other people. I am a stay-at-home mom and I feel that it really does take a village to raise kids. I need feedback when I am going through a tough bout of sleep training...or someone to tell me I am normal when I feel my 3 year old is setting me up sometimes. (I swear she should work for the FBI or something...tricky one I tell ya).
So here it goes! The good..the bad...I am ready for it all!!! No fear...No fear..eek!
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