Space Cadet

Attention passengers...we are making our decent to our final destination...Earth. Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. It may be a bumpy ride. Current temperature is iffy, if this is your dwelling, than welcome home, if not have a great time visiting. Thank you for riding Crazy Whoremone Airlines...we hope you choose us again in the future when you want to go somewhere crazy!

(W)Hormone: Dictionary Definition-

1.Biochemistry. any of various internally secreted compounds, as insulin or thyroxine, formed in endocrine glands, that affect the functions of specifically receptive organs or tissues when transported to them by the body fluids.
2.Pharmacology. a synthetic substance used in medicine to act like such a compound when introduced into the body.
3.Botany. Also called phytohormone. any of various plant compounds, as auxin or gibberellin, that control growth and differentiation of plant tissue.

(W)Hormone: MushMush Definition-

-to go crazy
-"why is mommy in the corner rocking herself in a fetal position and humming a nursery rhyme to herself?"
-instant rage and at the same time...instant crying


Lately I have been what my husband likes to call me...A Space Cadet! I can literally feel that I cannot control my feelings or my body. Its like I am on the outside watching someone move my body around and function in a very un-ordinary way. My whoremones are on full time and I feel sorry for the outsiders that have to witness this.

On Saturday I spent my whole morning walking around like a zombie. I told the husband that I was going to lock myself in my room and stare at the ceiling, so no one was to bother me. After I did that I sat...yes sat in the shower for about 45 min with the shower on and stared at the window glass doors. Now that shit calls for some serious therapy!!! That is some messed up stuff! Wait it gets better!!! Then I had to get ready for a bridal shower that was about 40 minutes away from where I live. I got dressed, which took sometime to figure out what I should wear...settled on a very nice green dress, some strappy sandals and pulled back my hair. Got my daughter dressed as she was coming with me, in a cute pink dress and white sandals. Things were looking up! The weather was nice out and I really should not waste my day wallowing in what I think is sorrow.

We get in the car and start out on our journey. The little muffin falls asleep 5 minutes into the drive which is perfect! Peace and quiet. We get to our destination all the way out in the boonies and there is barely any cars there. I am 30 minutes late and wonder if I am in the wrong spot. I leave muffin in the car and go to the front door. A man appeared and looked at me strangely...yes I know its weird to see a coloured person wayyyy out here in the good ol town of Waterdown, but really. Apparently the shower is NEXT Saturday!!!! He must have thought, "Black people aren't late, what are people talking about...Caribbean Time..huh...they are actually really early!!!".

How could I have screwed this up??? What is wrong with my brain!!! Why can I not control this??? So back in the car and back home. All dressed up and nowhere to go! Muffin slept the whole way there and the whole way home. We got back home and she woke up to see the gift still in the front seat. Then I had to manage a mini-meltdown as she was ready to party and didn't understand that her mother is a dolt and mixed up the dates.

I hope this doesn't last my whole pregnancy...really I don't think I could handle it. Pray for me...well maybe you should pray for my sidekicks....they are really the ones who are going to suffer...